"Big
As They Come III" (Jocks Studios - JVP-106)
Director: Chi
Chi LaRue
Starring
Scott Matthews
Matt Majors
Spike
Eric Hart
Johnny Brosnan
Jason Branch
Chad Johnson
Joe Young
Jeremy Jordan
Nick Young
Mark Rockwell
I’ll let y’all in on a secret, I’ve recently
discovered amateur videos (thanks to my friend Floyd).
I love them. They’re
grainy and the camera can be unsteady but they’re aah, so natural.
Art imitates life. The performers look like men you would find at your
neighborhood bar. They’re just
sitting back and waiting for you to take them home and do them.
Ain’t no body got to plug up no curling iron, trim no pubes or pluck no
eyebrows. And I’m willing to be
you, that you won’t find no rubbed off blush on your pillow the next morning
either.
I said all that to say, that Falcon and it’s little baby
studio Jocks have been around a long time and I’m getting to the point where
it’s hard for me to watch their videos. Maybe
it’s just me, but the older I get, I tend to want to things and people to be
more real and everyday. Know what I
mean?
That said, I recently sat down one Saturday night and
watched “Big As They Come III”. The
title alone will entice y’all to thinking that the children featured is going
to have more wood than a woodchuck chucked, if a woodchuck could chuck, wood.
And some of the children do, but of some of them just got on my nerves.
Just because you have a big dick, don’t make you a star.
The video opens with Matt Majors who is sitting at this desk jacking off. La, de, da. He’s just a stroking away on this thick dick. Pay attention to the interesting piss slit. It reminds me of the piss slit of this guy I use to date, Andrew. He called me not too long ago and I really need to call hime back. But he don’t want anything important. But I digress. Anyways, Matt is stroking and before you know it Eric Hart is under the table giving him head. The camera is right under there with him, filming the whole thing. How Miss Girl got to do her business with someone next to her with a camera and Matt’s legs in the way, I’ll never know. She moves to the top of the desk and still just a sucking when in comes Scott Mattews (who bugs me). Don’t these children know how to lock a door? Miss Girl gets this crazy look in her eyes and gets to sucking them both. Spit dripping, eyes rolling back in the head…. You get the picture. Scott rims her for a while and then later fucks the child. Matt decides to take over and puts one of those eight ball, corner pocket fucks on her. They both finish up and cums all over her face. Big woop. Miss Gils jacks off. End of scene.
Scene two features
porn vet, Chad Johnson (who has aged very well, except for a few lines here and
there), Jason Branch (who bugs me) and Jonny Brosnan (who really bugs me.
He’s the one who was in that waste of tape, Falcon, “Athens” crap).
I read somewhere that before Johnny did the “Athens” series, he was
celibate, had never been fucked….., whatever.
Why can’t folks just say, “I like to get fucked”?
Ain’t nobody gonna say nothing. If
you do, you do. We’re Gay men.
I digress again, anyway they in this garage and Johnny is in this red
convertible Chad climbs on top of the car (with his old
knees) and presents his ageless, uncut, thick dick to Johnny and she just loses
it. You know the type. “I don’t get fucked” is what they say, as soon as you
get them home, they break lower than the mattress.
Johnny gets this vampire Lestat look and just gets to chewing foresking,
slobbing and breathing all heavy. Not
to leave Jason out, she takes them both on.
Johnny is just a sucking away like a calf. Child, Johnny hits one of those buttons on the seat, where it
falls all the way back and Jason just tries to smother the poor girl with his
ass. I’ll give John boy credit,
he does have a nice body. She
rimming, Jason sucking Chad, etc. Get
it? Jason fucks Johnny. Johnny
sucks Chad, etc. Then they switch. Chad puts Johnny on the hood of the car, Johnny sucks Jason.
They move to this hydraulic thing and somebody (off camera) makes it
rise. Jason is still just a fucking
away and Chad is on the floor looking at them above.
I bet Chad said, “Child, I’m old, I ain’t getting my ass up on
nobodies hydraulic and fucking nothing. Y’all
ain’t paying me enough”. I hear
ya Chad. Eventually they come down
from the ceiling and Jason pisses in this bucket thing while Johnny is on her
knees with her mouth all greasy looking. She
looks at that pee coming out of that dick and you can just tell that if this
video wasn’t a Jocks production (who is in the Falcon family), she would’ve
been all over that stream. You
ain’t fooling me, girl. Jason
jacks himself off and cums, then Chad does, then Johnny. End of scene.
This is where the
video gets interesting. Jeremy
Jordan (who I think is adorable. He’s
one of those bottoms that Falcon is famous for.
See him in “Alone With” Volume
I), Nick Young (cute) and Joe Young (big, big dick, but had problems keeping it
hard). Everyone gets to suck
everyone in this scene. And I fast
forwarded through them sucking Jeremy. It’s
not that he doesn’t deserve a blow job, it’s just that he’s so much better
at getting fucked. It shows.
And can you believe it, they have him fucking Nick?
That’s like Tristan Paris or Joey Stefano (may he rest in peace) trying
to fuck someone. They both take
turns fucking Jeremy, but Joe has to use that old trick of fisting his cock’s
base to make it hard. That’s a
no-no. But you do get to see how hard it gets and how really big it is when he
shoots. This scene is nothing to write home about, but I like Jeremy.
It’s like you want to hug him and he has that little nelly thing that I
like. My friends will tell you, I tend to like effeminate men. I
like all types of men, but I don’t think the effeminate guys get a fair deal.
And what’s really strange is that a lot of effeminate men that I’ve
run across are more “man” than your big, butch guys.
Hey, it takes a lot of balls to be a sissy and something about that is
sexy to me.
Trumpets
please. Tinker tape. Horns. The next
scene is the big finale. Guess
what? Spike gets fucked. Wow. You don’t
say. I like Spike, but anyone can
look at him and see that he likes getting fucked.
And it’s no big deal. Studios
kill me with typecasting a “star” as being one way or another. That’s why I tend to like versatile performers like Colby
Taylor (who I love) and Marcus Iron (who I’d do in a second).
Spike and Mark Rockwell are on their knees sucking Matt Major’s dick.
Yes he appears again. I
thought that this was stupid. Can’t
you find another “star” people? And
Mark Rockwell was killing me with that Jayne Mansfield blonde do.
Not a dark root to be seen children.
Ain’t no peroxide left in West Hollywood. Pity if someone cuts themselves.
I’ll give Blondie one thing, she put a suction hold on Matt’s dick.
She was like those lids on those canning jars.
Honey, wasn’t nothing getting between her and her jelly, not once that
seal is activated. Spike, who my
friend, Floyd, loves, wasn’t doing a bad job himself.
And you can tell that he was enjoying himself.
This is the natural Spike. Take
note, Spike fans. They trade blow
jobs back and forth and then Spike and Matt get to rimming Blondie. They both take turns fucking her then the scene moves to them
all standing and jacking off, when Spike announces that he wants to get fucked
my Matt. Matt is like, “well come
on, I ain’t got all day”. The
award winning, super top Spike takes to fucking like a baby to a tit.
Just pay attention to that look in his eyes.
He’s been wanting this. Child,
Matt bends Spike in half and lets him have it.
Spike must be awful short, because his little legs didn’t look too long
up in the air. Spike gets to
chanting and he grabs his big dick and uses his famous “double fisted jack
with a triple pike stroke” and shoots all over the room.
I was like, “way to go girl, let it go, be yourself girlfriend. Don’t let no body stop you from the pounding you know you
like. You go girl.” Blondie releases Spike’s legs and shoots on his neck.
Matt, looking like he just bagged a unicorn or something, shoots next.
I thought it was over until Matt gotave a problem with Falcon or Jocks
videos. I just think that they need
to keep it real. Would it hurt to
have a performer with a chipped tooth or to show a body scar or is it too much
to ask for a little hair on a ball sack?